Second Lesson Not Learned

Here is story two in my lesson not Learned Short Story. I hope you enjoy.


-->

Alec Degnats

A Lesson Not Learned:

Deceleration of Wall Street's Love

This rotating glass door is a moronic juxtaposition to how I feel and who I am. Extravagant, gold plated, revolving on its own in an infinite show of strength and resilience. I am a hollow shell of this door: impoverished, stagnant, growing in my own gloom and ironically a mirror of the true business that goes on here. Walking through this door for the hundredth time, I am here only to play with others' money, never knowing the meaning of wealth myself.

“Morning Jim,” I hear as the commotion of the marble laid halls engulf me. I chuckle to myself knowing that most of these people only know my name because I have walked these dreadful halls for twenty five years now.

Yep, that’s right, twenty five years with two promotions and a single pay raise. Every once in a while I pass a scared intern, not knowing how to address me or what my position actually is. Incapacitated by fear they mumble out “Good morning Mr. ….” as they avert their eyes, scared to make eye contact with a man of my standing, fearful my failure will infect them if they do.

“Take this Jim,” one of my coworkers says to me as he pushes the first of many documents on me. I am a courier of files here, regardless of the title I have been given, and no matter what others think I could care less what these files hold, all I do is shuffle them from one desk to another, fielding signatures from time to time.

“Jim how is your dad?” I hear for the hundredth time this morning as I walk past another row of sterile cubicles. It is nice being liked, but I know that they are much more concerned about my father and the hole he left with his illness. My father has been with this company forever and recently went ill and no matter how little our role is everyone expects me to be him, to become him even when I do not want to. I would say that I am worried about him, but that would insinuate that we had a relationship, that would insinuate that I was not a constant disappointment in his life.

. . .

“I thought you would be at the hospital,” a scared voice says as he wanders into the grand office I currently find myself in, minutes before lunch is about to begin.

“Just grabbing a few things and got caught up in the room's beauty,” I remark, myself and my guest knowing that I despise this office more than any other place in this god forsaken, liar stricken building.

We are standing in the CEO's office -an office neither one of us belong in- all because Evan caught me daydreaming. Before he arrived I stopped in here to drop off a few things. Knowing the boss would be out today I time to look around the office of tyranny and deceit.

The first thing that catches your eye in here is not the plush leather couches, or the impeccable rosewood floors, but the view of Wall Street that costs more a month than most families make in two lifetimes. Priceless art is nothing more than disposable covers for safes that hold the “priceless secrets” of this deplorable place. Mink rugs, mahogany desk, and an insurmountable amount of money poured into this office all becomes a sick joke when you think about who actually foots the bill for this immaculate place.

“The stock took another hit, you know,” Evan says behind me. Apparently he thinks that I have magically started caring about such things.

“I know,” I politely respond, hoping that he will let me leave this dreaded place if I answer him. My thinking is too wishful and instead of letting me leave he takes my little response as an invitation to prattle on.

“It's because your...”

“Stop Evan.” I cut him off, not wanting to hear how Evan is about to justify my dear old dad's illness for the stock's crash. We are paper pushers and have been for years, we do nothing for this company that a trained monkey could not do and no matter what he says we can not be responsible for the stock's crash.

“Sorry... I know it must be hard for you, but it would help everyone if you took his place,” Evan gets out in a fearful tone, not knowing if he overstepped a line.

Turning around I meet Evan's eyes and see the emptiness between us, we are not friends, mere acquaintances and no matter what I do I know that that will never change. I am lonely, I am a failure, and more importantly I do not have any true friends.

A sickening silence overtakes the room as Evan waits for me to respond while we stand in an office neither one of us should be in. Part of me is relishing in this moment hoping that we will be caught and thrown out of this dreadful place, part of me wants to jump through this window to make a true company splash, however most of all I feel uneasy as I digest Evan's words. Even in fear he managed to say something everyone else has hinted at or whispered behind my back for months now: it is time for me to step up and take my father's place.... it is time for me to become the thing that repulses me and the man I hate, it is time for me to become my father.

. . .

“Rupert you have to take my place tomorrow,” my dad tells me in his wonderfully dissatisfied tone, throwing in my pet name for added sting.

“I'm not going to do it,” I coolly respond, my only regret being that my mother is caught in the middle of our dysfunctional relationship. Part of me regret is my behavior toward him, but I know that every cough, every cold, is just a part of his new strategy to force the family tradition on me. “I'm thirty five now dad and I am not ready to do this. I want to see the world. I want to do my own thing and start my own life.”

“Are you crazy,” my dad wheezes as he strains against the many tubes tying him to the bed. “I mean...”

“Honey your dad means that you are getting older now and it is time to take responsibility for what needs to be done.” My mother interrupts him as she gently pushes him back into bed, fluffing his pillows, and trying to defuse the escalating tension in the room.

Looking back at both of my parents in the card and flower lined hospital room what they just told me was something I already knew: they think I'm crazy and living in the clouds. Of course I know the truth of the matter and the situation. Even if I took my dad's place I would never live up to his expectations and right after I take over he would be watching my every step telling me how much better he would be doing everything. His disappointment wouldn't end if I took the job, our relationship would not be fixed.

“You have always been a fuck up... and tomorrow you will take my place or lose your inheritance. You hear. Your succession has been set up and approved. You are no longer a teenager and it is time you stop acting like one. Grow up and stop fucking everything that moves, stop rebelling to be “cool” and take responsibility for yourself and do your dam job. Do it or get out of my life so I can find someone who will.”

The conversation over, I leave without saying another word. Believe it or not this is my father in a good mood and I can not fathom turning into him. The last thing in the world I want to do is take his position. I want to write, to live, to sip wine and attend art openings. His life never interested me and I would rather die before taking it. Family is family though and no matter how much I hate it I do have obligations to them that I feel can not be avoided.

Walking through the front doors I am reminded of how difficult it its to escape my lineage as a flurry of lights blind me. My driver and body guard quickly usher me to the waiting car as reporters flock to me flashing pictures, asking questions about my father and our family business. None of them care about him or the family, but want something juicy that they can use to fight with for their own promotion. They want to know what is happening tomorrow and how that will affect the stock. They want to break the story that haunts my life, they are vultures, no better than my dad and his deplorable business. This is what happens when you are the son of Jimmy Vandevere, the most powerful investment broker in the world.

. . .

Jill calls me yet again and I am unable to pick up. We hooked up years ago during one of my sex binges and I have loved her ever since. As far as I can tell the feeling is mutual, but I can not drag her down with me, she is my only true friend and deserves so much better than me. We have seen each other many times personally and professionally since that first fateful night, but we can never be any more than friends because in the end I would only break her heart which will shatter what is left of mine.

“Anything else baby,” a beautiful voice behind me whispers in my ear as I feel a warm body wrap itself around me.

Turning my head Lilly, the 20 year old blonde intern who I brought home tonight is wrapped around me waiting for more. Lilly is a nice girl during the day, and a freak at night. One of those girls who looks like a billion dollars at any angle, in any light, at any time of day.

“Nah... you can stay as long as you want, grab some food, whatever,” I say as I rise from the bed and walk towards my little table that is home to my post coitus drinks. Pouring myself a drink I can not help but chuckle at the irony in all of this: to escape my dad's disappointment I do exactly what causes it.

“You sure honey?” Lilly asks following me to the table kissing my shoulders once she reaches me.

Feeling her warmth pressed up against me I know tonight is insincere for both of us. I want nothing to do with her other than tonight. For her tonight is either a one night stand, a scandal, possibly even love or romance. Maybe tonight is some sick combination of these reasons or possibly none of them. Regardless of Lilly's intent though tonight is her way into the company and a promotion. I do not want to be narcissistic, but I have had so many nights like this before; interns, many of them, trying to fast track their way up the corporate ladder by sleeping with the boss's son. Turning back to her I want to tell her that I am done for the night, that I need to be well rested for the morning, but I never get that far and before I can say anything her blue eyes hypnotize and I soon find myself rolling around in the covers again with her.

. . .

“You are going to be late.” I hear a heavenly voice wake me.

Opening my weighted eyelids Jill is standing in front of me. It appears that Lilly left at some point and looks like Jill let herself in to check up on me.

“She was a pretty little thing from accounting. Although if you are going to bring my interns home I would appreciate a heads up so I can open up a spot for them in the company or at least find you a smart and pretty one”

Jill's voice is a little scolding, but is more so filled with disappointment and regret. I know the intern does not bother her, but it is the fact that I refuse to commit to her. Believe me this is not the first time she has walked in on me in my birthday suit with another woman and as far as I can tell she does not care who I sleep with, but wants to stop dancing around the issue of us. She loves me and I love her, but I am far too broken for anyone like her.

“Don't worry about her, Jill. I'm sure that Laura will find her way just fine and will be good for the company.” I respond trying to wipe the sleep from my eyes as the true weight of the day begins to settle in.

“Lilly...” Jill corrects me, "and she has consistently shown she can not add her way out of a paper bag, but I'm sure we always need senior sales reps who look like that.” Jill finishes as she sits down next to me, handing me a glass of water, trying her best to break me out of the stupor that holds me.

Taking the glass I get lost in her chestnut eyes. No matter what she tells you Jill is just as beautiful if not more so than Lilly. She has an understated classic beauty that she can not hide no matter how she tries to under her suits and long skirts. Her body is divine, her face immaculate and more importantly her soul pure, her character true. She is smart, engaging; caring and loving, in essence she is perfect.

“Look you go take a shower, I'll fix you breakfast. After you are cleaned up we can head off towards that press conference together.”

She is so caring, so loving, I look up into her eye with a silent agreement knowing that I do not deserve someone as good as her.

. . .

Inside the town-car limo Jill sits across from me, her business dress provocative and professional- a testament to her intoxicating beauty and class. I sit in a thousand dollar suit- a suit I plan to rid myself of after today considering what I am about to do in it.

“You ready for this?” Jill asks as we approach a gathered crowd waiting for our arrival.

“I think so. I think I am ready to make a change,” I respond looking back into her eyes. “All I hope is that you will be there for me as I get used to this new life.”

The car screeches to a halt as a rumble of voices and cameras overload my auditory senses. The vultures came out in full force for today's announcement. Circling the car they are ready to feast on my caucus, ready to scrutinize and micro analyze my every word and moment I make from today on. They are ready to let my inconsequential announcement become front page news, they will let my five minute speech change the global economy. My words, nothing tangible, with no data or numbers backing them, are about to decide the fortunes and lives of so many innocents within this corrupt world. It truly is ironic and quite stupid that a speech from someone who knows nothing about business or finance will decide the fate of the world's economy, showing just how ludicrous our system has become.

The car door opens to a security lined red carpet. Flashes blind me as I approach the podium surrounded by my parents, the board, and senior personnel. Somehow finding the podium, the flashes subside as I regain my vision, looking out over the crowd. Everything becomes silent as the world waits to hear my prepared speech, a speech that I am in fact about to create on the fly due to my previous engagements from the night before.

“Good morning. Ladies and Gentlemen of the media, my own board, managers, and of course my parents, I would like to thank you all for coming today. As you are all well aware today's announcement marks another changing of the guard in this firm's long and prosperous history. My father has been ill and can no longer lead the company in the capacity he feels comfortable with and for this reason has decided to step down. Over the past forty years we have all benefited under his guidance and expertise. I speak for all of us when I say we will miss his presence and advice as he moves on from the firm into a well deserved retirement. We have grow every year, broken our projections many times, and tripled the number of positions in this firm during his tenure. He has done a stupendous job for the company and the world and we would like to now thank him for everything he has done. Thank you ”

An awkward applause sounds through the crowd as they react to my speech. Some members of the media scribble away on pads, while others wait at attention for me to slip up like I always do, however within a minute the applause dies down as everyone waits for the true announcement they all came to hear.

“This business has been within my family for many generations. It was all started by my great grandfather over a century ago as a small mom and pop bank in Lynchburg, Tennessee and now has grown into the most important financial institution in the world. We all know the history of this great company, so I will not recap that now, but I would point out that my grandfather, father, and great grandfather bread a culture of understanding, hard work, dedication, passion, responsibility, and care. They have always cared for every single one of their employees and I would like to announce now that these guiding principles will lead this company long after my father and I have left our posts.”

Applause erupts, applause that turns my stomach and makes me sick. The only thing my father or grandfather ever cared about were profits and breaking projections. You were family here as long as you were producing and when I say “we cared,” I was referring more about our stockholders than the working man who kept this firm afloat. These vultures know the truth shrouded in my words and still applaud, it is appalling how heartless they are, how heartless we have become.

“We need a new leader who can embrace these values and guide this company through the perils that the new global economy and recession present.” Taking a breath everyone is on the edge of their seats, I look beyond them and see our company's stock flash across the ticker about to change when I begin to speak again. Wall street hanging on my every word, the reporters are ready to bombard me with questions; now it is time for me to do what needs to be done, it is time for me to step up and to make my family proud. “For all of these reasons I have chosen to step down and will leave the duty of appointing my father's successor to our talented and respected board. Thank you for your time and have a great day.”

Silence overcomes the crowd of vultures as if their carcass disappeared in front of them. No one knows how to respond or how my announcement should affect the market. Taking my chance to escape I leave the podium and take Jill's hand, walking away from the pandemonium beginning to erupt around us. A ring in my hand I look back at my father one more time to see him white as a ghost, beyond furious. I know he is disappointed now, but in time I think he will see that I finally did something responsible and am actually taking control of my life for once. Hand in hand with my confused friend, Jill and I walk away from the crowd with my new family towards a local coffee shop, ready to ask her the question that has been truly weighing on me all day.

. . .

Six months later Jill and I live in a small apartment off of Central Park. My father may have cut me off from the life of riches, but for once in my life I am happy and have finally embraced the values my great- grandfather had built our company on.

It was always about family, and setting the table for Jill and my first Christmas dinner I wait to hear a knock at the door. Tonight will be the first time I have seen my parents since my departure from the company and despite the chaos I caused I know I made the right decision.

I work out of a small loft with Jill, who now does the books for a few local coffee shops and while we both make a tenth of what we used to we are all doing better now. My father's health has improved and while tonight may be the first time I have seen them in months, my father and I have been talking twice a week about everything from baseball to my new photography business ever since my departure.

Looking back at Jill as she pulls out the Christmas ham I know I made the right decision and I am reminded of how I taught myself and my father something he and his father forgot long ago. Life is about more than profits and market worth, but is about love, family, and bliss. Prosperity does not have to be counted in coins and gold, and as I see it I am richer now than I ever was before. I have my family back, work that is full of joy, and can not believe that I escaped, I can not believe that I managed to escape the trap of corporate greed and did not become another example of this lesson not learned.